The Way They Began
by jai.scott1
Summary: I have never written before but due to the glooming nature of season 6 I needed to have some happier times. this is about them as teens and falling madly in love. Crappy summary better story I do not own soa just a loyal fan :)
1. Chapter 1

She sit on the floor of her room sobbing, for reasons she truly didn't know, she felt lost that day more than usual. She ached to talk to her mother, "just one more time" she would say aloud to herself wanting to hear her mother's infectious laugh just once more. She looked at the photo, the last one taken before her mother left them, she had succumbed to her illness after more than a year of fighting. It all seemed like a life time ago but today, and to Tara, it felt like it had just happened.

Brought out of her slump the phone rang, it startled her. "who the fuck could that be" she knew that dad was out on a binge and that the phone call wouldn't be a good one, it never was

"Is this Rick's girl?" The voice questioned her.

"Aw ya, why whats wrong with him?" She questioned right back

"Your old man has drank himself beyond stupid this time, and we are bringing him to hospital. If ya want I can have someone come by and get ya"

"No, no I will meet him there" Tara's voice said shakily slamming down the phone. Fear washed over her "so drunk he needed to be admitted" she thought to herself.

Ever since her mother's passing he has fallen deeper and deeper into the bottle. Usually he just winds up at home, unsure of how he gets there he comes in and falls asleep at whatever point his feet gave out. Leaving Tara to deal with life on her own at a very young age. This time however, he had drunk too much and she was scared. As dysfunctional as she and her father were, they were all each other had. The thought that he had gone over the edge scared the death out of her.  
"Stupid fucking drunk" she whispered to herself as she ran out the door and toward the hospital on foot.

She ran for what she thought seemed forever when she finally arrived at ER entrance. She bent over out of breath, the automatic doors towering over her opened. She rushed to the nurse's desk to ask the ware bouts of her father.

"Sorry sweet heart, nobody by that name has been brought into this ER" a kind looking nurse stated.

She was stunned, surely they could have driven faster to the hospital than it had taken her to run there, was she mistaken, was he been taken to another hospital? She has prayed that was not the case, they had no insurance, any money they had went to booze and what little food he bought her. She prayed for them to walk through the door, she convinced herself to sit down and calm down. She would catch herself and then ask to use the phone…

While coiled up into herself staring at the floor the sliding doors to the entrance of the ER sprang open. Tara notices the commotion but doesn't look up; she sees three sets of feet. One on either side of a man clearly not capable of walking himself. She takes notice to the black work like boots on either side of the slumped over person in the middle, her head begins to rise and to her horror there stood her father, rather there slumped her father between two of Charming's finest. Two of the Sons.

She rushed over to them, not even aware of the two other men and two young boys who followed right behind her father and the men carrying him.

"What the hell happened to him this time" she demanded of the men carrying her father

"Sorry love, he just showed up at the club house to see Piney" the very tall burly man said to her in a calm voice she would have never thought to come out of a Son, never mind the president of the Sons.

"My father was at your club house?" she asked in astonishment," what the hell would my dad be doing there'' she thought to herself.

A nurse comes over with a wheel chair and they lightly toss him into it.

"You gonna be okay with him now" The other shorter man with longer chin length curly hair asked, his voice clearly drowning in concern for the young girl.

"Yes, yes "she replied quickly

"Clay" a voice from behind them "She shouldn't be left here alone, me and Op, we will stay here till shits figured out" to her surprise it was Jackson Teller, and she couldn't believe he gave a shit about her or her father.

"This is why you are destined son" The larger burlier man puts his hand on the young boys shoulder and walks out the sliding doors with the three other men he walked in with. Leaving behind two boys who Tara knew of but did not know.

Nearly an hour had passed and the bombshell brunette still hadn't appeared from exam rooms in the ER.

"Jax, we really gonna sit around here and wait" Opie Winston says to his closest friend, as if to wonder why the hell they stayed in the first place.

"Sorry bro, I just know what it's like to have a parent in a hospital; at least I wasn't by myself." Jackson replied, knowing that his friend would be tolerant after bringing up his father's passing. Nobody wanted to step on his toes when Jackson brought it up, it was still too fresh.

The clank of the heavy metal door drew attention to her, attention she did not like. "What the hell are they still doing here" she angrily thought to herself, she realised while waiting with her dad that the reason he was as drunk as he was is because of his new found friendship with Piney Winston. She was pissed, and there was his son, sitting in the waiting room of the ER waiting for her… It made her sick.

He hears the door and immediately looks up, there she was. Finally. "Wow" he thought to himself she incredibly beautiful, he had never noticed how sexy was before, he had noticed her before but never like this. She had filled out over the summer, she had breasts that he desperately wanted to see, a tiny waste with the roundest hips he had ever seen, they complimented what he assumed was going to be a perfect ass, and her legs…. She was short, much shorter than him, but he noted that her legs were long, and he wanted to be between them.

It wasn't when she walked directly up to them "why are you both still here" she asked coldly and bluntly that he noticed her face. Her incredibly beautiful hazel eyes, how thick her eye lashes were, the freckles that were so light and faded you had to really look to see them, her lips, not to thick or thin, red. He was drinking her in and he didn't even realise that she was speaking.

Opie spoke first "Jackson here thought we should wait, ya know..." trailing off not wanting to state the obvious reason they were there.

"Well thanks, but contrary to what this fucking town thinks, I am not a charity case. I will take care of this myself. Haven't the _"SONS" _done enough for one night?'' She stormed through the doors and was gone before either of them could say a word. And he was right he thought to himself, her ass was perfect, and he wanted it instantly.

Jackson chased after her, "Tara, Tara, TARA" he yelled. She continued to storm away. But he was relentless and followed after her.

"How the fuck does he know my name" she angrily thought to herself, at school he's never even looked at me.

"Let me give you a ride home at least" he said with an odd tone in his voice, one she wasn't use to. It wasn't pity, it was worry.

Only because she was mentally and physically exhausted she accepted without words, she simply turned around and headed for the bike she knew was his.

He handed her his helmet "put this on" he crawled on to his bike slightly jittery, it wasn't the beast beneath his legs that had him shaking however; it was this girl, one he had never noticed until now.

He lay in the bed, staring at the ceiling counting the tiles. Wondering if this one was going to be capable of giving him release. He knew she wouldn't. After a few more moments of her eager attempts he knew he had to relent and stop this poor girl from torturing herself any further. He pulled her up and tossed her around on to all fours. She mound feircley, clearly turned on by his take charge demeanor. He slid the magnum on and rammed into her backside. She screams his name "JACKSON'' he is barely even aware of her pleasure, really even aware of her presence while he repeatedly rams into her seeking the sweet release. He knew he wouldn't find it, not here, not with her. All he could think about was the brunette from the hospital, all he could think of was Tara.

After several minutes of fulfilling the current girls hopes and desires to be with the Prince of Charming he fell off her, rolled over and smiled that Jackson Teller smile he asks "was it as good for you darling" he asked knowing that he hadn't climaxed, he'd simply gone limp with boredom and wanted it to end.

"Mmmmm always what I thought it would be Jax, everything I heard was true" the blonde hair blue eyed beauty admitted.

"And what is you heard" he asked, his voice sounding inquisitive

"That you Jackson Teller were a boy with a cock that a girl could love for the rest of her life"

And with that statement he sat up, he crawled out of the bed feeling totally drained. He knows that they don't want him for who is but for who his destiny was going to turn him into. His ego allowed him to believe what she had said was true, that he was an amazing lay, that he could make them all scream his name but that shit was all external and he knew it. He looked for something more, yearned for it. But they all wanted him for the kutte that he was destined to wear and nothing more than that. He knew that's what all these women wanted, was to be an old lady. And not one of them was worthy of the title.

"Get the fuck out" he snapped at the poor girl who had no idea what she had done wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Tara was infuriated, she looked around her house, which had not felt like a home since her mother passed away six years ago almost to the day. It was cluttered, everything in disarray, boxes everywhere half packed by her father who while in a drunker stooper would attempt to pack away his wife's belongings. He was never able to finish. Perfectly clean square spots on the wall where photos once hung of happier times in their lives. He was trying so hard to forget, take the pain away and make it as if she never existed. She knew that this time of year was hard on her father, and even harder on his liver, but this time he had nearly killed himself.

After getting a ride home for the notorious Prince if Charming Tara found she was more concerned with the fact that he didn't make a pass at her than the fact her father lay across town nearly dead in a hospital bed. She looked in her floor to ceiling closet door mirror for what seemed a life time. She looked herself up and down. "My legs short and nubby, my hips spread far too wide, my pale white skin and my god awful freckles" she had thought to herself over and over again. She had always had some type of body issues, she felt like she grew into a woman's body without her permission. She felt betrayed that her body would do this to her, she wished again her mother was there, because she didn't know if what she felt was normal. Her father certainly would never discuss her body changes with her. So she tried to hide it, cover it up and pretend it wasn't there. But tonight when yet another boy didn't even pay her a second look she put herself under a microscope, wanting to know if she would forever be invisible.

Her alarm sounded off and she flung her arm out almost in desperation and smashed the top of it so the irritating ringing would end. She felt like she had just fallen asleep and it was already morning.

She woke that morning feeling tired, her eyes heavy and swollen from the crying. But she felt lighter, like some weight had been lifted. She sauntered into the living room in nothing more than her pink lace boy shorts and her matching camisole. It was one of things she was happy to receive from her father's cousin, the only woman that paid her any mind.

She sat at the kitchen table scarfing down a bowl of some generic brand of frosted flakes, trying to hurry so she could make time to go to the hospital before getting to school. She felt at ease, just being by herself, she usually felt most comfortable when she was alone. The whole town had eyes on her it seemed at times, simply to take pity on her. She knew it made them feel better about themselves, but when she was alone she was carefree and nobody could judge her or feel sorry her.

_Tap, tap, tap._ A soft knock on her door, "who is the heck is that" she wondered to herself. Without even thinking she walks from the kitchen to the front door in her barely there pajamas and peaks out the window. "Jackson Teller, what the hell would he want?" She flung the door open standing there with no regard to her lack of clothing, what would he care, he didn't notice girls like her. It was clear his type was blonde, leggy, and easy.

"Tara, um" he said bashfully with his eyes darting around trying not focus on this beauty before him " I was just stopping in to see if ya needed a lift to go see your old man?"

She quickly realised he had noticed her appearance and she felt silly standing there nearly naked, but she liked making him blush, it was something she had never known a boy with sexual reputation to do. "Sorry, uh just a sec let me throw something on."

She hurried down the hall.

"Jesus Christ, her body is more amazing with nothing on it" he thought to himself. "What the hell is wrong with me" feeling himself harden at just her sight. He wasn't like this around girls, if any other girl had opened their door nearly naked he would have taken it as an invitation, and gladly obliged. He knew that wasn't the case with her, and for whatever reason, reasons he did not understand, felt the need to protect her. Even if it was from himself.

"So ya always open your door to strangers with nothing on" he snorted

Tara replied "Jesus" she was clearly now embarrassed, her skin gave it away. It would go so pink when she blushed it nearly glowed. "Yes Teller, in fact I have made it a habit" she snarled. He was so taken with her; it felt like the breath was being sucked out of his lungs by a powerful force. "What the hell" he thought to himself aloud.

"Why are you here teller" Tara asked in a very harsh tone

He looked down at his hands, he didn't understand why. "Why does THIS girl have THIS effect on me" he wondered to himself

"Well, your dad, what's going on? Do ya need a ride to see him?" It was a lie; he just wanted to be near her. He felt pulled to her like he she was a magnet that pulled him and he simply couldn't get away.

"NO, now you can go. I told you I am not a charity case Teller. I am tired of this town and your GANG acting like I am. I will walk." She huffed at him, clearly annoyed at his presence. This saddened him because she clearly didn't feel the same pull.

"Fuck Tara, it's not like that. It's just…." He hesitated, "It's just, I know what it feels like, to have a parent in the hospital. And it sucks." He reminded himself of the night he was pulled out of a deep slumber to go to the hospital where he found his father nearly dead, and it was three days he held on, but he gave up. Gave up the fight, gave up his life, gave up on Jackson.

Tara felt like a total ass. She should have realised that was why he was being so nice to her, his own father John had passed away not long ago in a horrible accident, he on his bike was no match for a semi-truck.

"Shit Jackson, I am so sorry. Ya, ya I want a ride.'' Her voice filled with defeat, she felt so stupid. "Christ, I am so selfish" she thought "my dad was right, always thinking about how I feel and nobody else."

She grabbed her hoody and walked passed him to the front door and headed to his bike.

The wind on her face and through her hair, taking her breath. She latched onto Jackson like a lifeline. It was so exhilarating, she was having a hard time containing herself. She loved the way this felt, a release, freedom. Something she didn't often feel in her world.

When the thunder of the beast beneath came to a halt she giggled. He noticed. "Feels incredible don't it?" Jackson asked already knowing her answer.

"Thank you Jackson, for everything." Tara replied sliding off the bike.

He was being sheepish and they could both tell that this was unchartered ground for him. "Tara I was wondering, if ya know… If you'd like to hang out with me sometime?"

"Ha, are you asking me on a date?" she said not able to contain the smile you could hear in her voice.

"NO!" He answered harshly, "Just hang out ya know, like friends or some shit" 

"Oh, well… Ya. I wanna hang out Jackson." She knew he was full of it, she could tell by his reactions to her were not the same as they are with other girls, and she loved it.

"Tonight?" He asks looking for confirmation. "There is gonna be a party and they are always ragers."

"Okay Jackson, can I bring my friend Donna with us?" She didn't want to go alone. Never participating in the usual teenage extracurricular she was a little worried and she wanted an out just in case she needed one.

"For sure, the more the merrier right?" Jackson said with a plan already in mind. He knew who Donna was; she was the little brunette that his best friend Opie had been hot after for months. He knew that Op would have no second thoughts on bringing these girls with them.

Tara was snapped back to reality as she hovered over her father's hospital bed. The doctor entered very quietly "Are you his kin child" the man said with a very thick accent, one she couldn't place.

"Yes, his daughter" Tara answers

"Is there anyone else I may be able to speak to about his condition, someone with age?" The doctor asked with hesitation.

It was clear to her that something was horribly wrong, had to be if the doctor didn't want to tell her without someone else present. "No, it's just me and him" she answered with relief. This doctor didn't know about her or her painful story. He was not aware she was the daughter of the town drunk, and the dead mother. It brought her relief and embarrassment at the same time.

"Well hun, this is going to be hard to hear, but your father is not well. His liver is barely functioning. If he continues to keep drinking this way it will only be a matter of years before his death. He seems too young for this. I have sought out some help; there are services that can help him ya know" the man stated matter of factly.

She appreciated his offer, but knew her father would never agree. This is what he wanted, death. He had been trying for so long to kill himself so he could be with his beloved wife Kate. She knew the only reason he didn't take his life with a bullet or noose was because that would make him a total coward leaving her totally alone. At least this way he was still physically present. Not that he really seemed to care.

"Yes, I will talk to him about it. Thank you doc." She was truly grateful.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Note) I am really very new to this, but I truly love it. Anyone who has any type of feedback is graciously appreciated. But please keep in my mind; this is my imagination running wild with Jax and Tara. It's how I would imagine it.

"Donna" with excitement in her voice she ran up behind the one person she spoke to in this God forsaken school.

"Shit Tara, your pretty happy for someone who just came from the hospital." Donna already knew but Tara wasn't sure how and really didn't care.

"No, I just wanted to ask ya if you would come with me tonight to a party." Tara asked trying to sound as leveled as possible.

For someone who just heard devastating news she was awful chipper, she couldn't help but wonder if this is how most girls her age felt all the time. For her it was foreign but she welcomed it. She needed to feel this way if only for a day. To forget about her mom, to forget about her dad, and her shitty life.

"Really Tara?" Donna asked now sounding like the more excited school girl. "Yes! Where? With who?" She was very inquisitive now.

"I am not sure where, Jackson Teller invited me and I thought it would be good for us!" Tara responded.

"Jackson Teller, fuck Tara I don't know. My parent aren't gonna let me, and his friend Opie is gross. He will be there and I am avoiding him like the fucking black plague."

Tara burst out laughing and pulled Donnas books that she had been hugging close to her chest, she pointed at the heart drawn on her the scribbler that had O.W. + D.O neatly written in the middle. "Black plague? Really Donna?"

"So I will come to your house after school?" Donna said trying to ignore what Tara had just pointed out. "Tell them I am sleeping at your place or something" she started to sound more excited again, "and we can get dressed up and have a few drinks before we go" at this point you could tell Donna was playing the nights events and how she wanted them to happen through her head. Tara had to admit so was she.

The girls danced around foolishly with a joint in one hand and a mixed drink in the other, they sang at the top of their lungs to the latest hit. They were already half in the bag and they hadn't even left the house yet. Realising it was getting late Donna asks Tara "Is that what you are gonna wear?"

Offended Tara says "Why the fuck not."

"Well aren't you trying to get his attention? A big old hoody and those jeans aren't gonna do that" blatantly stated by her friend.

Defeated Tara responds " Dress me."

This was Donna's element. She pulled endless tops and sweaters from Tara's closet and drawers "Nothing Tara, Jesus, ya afraid someone might look at you if you wore something other than a damn hoody. We live in Cali for Christ sakes." Not realising that is exactly what Tara was doing.

Finally coming across an Iron Maiden tshit about 2 sizes to big she tells Tara to slip it over and she begins working her magic. She rips the cheap material turning into a top that would expose her tiny waist, but not too much. She bunches up the rest of any lose material and ties it in a knot in the back of her shirt. "There, this will pass." Donna says admiring her handy work. "Those jeans will do to, but shit girl buy something that compliments your amazing ass" Donna teased.

Donna already looked fantastic, pulling slightly more revealing clothes from her back pack she must have brought with her to school. Tara realises that Donna had come prepared, which meant she did this often, or it was planned ahead of time without her knowledge, not sure which one. Donna slid the micro mini skirt up over her legs, and pulls over the cute black lace top.

Both girls are fussing with makeup in the mirror when Donna disappeared out of Tara's room and into the living room. Not thinking anything of it she carried on singing at the top of her lungs and putting on eyeliner to define her already beautiful hazel eyes. She noted they were grey at the moment, knowing that meant she was in a good mood. As she carried on she suddenly felt watched, "Donna, I didn't take ya for a creeper, besides, thought you were looking to hop on the giant Opie." She laughs and turns her head when she realises it was not Donna standing there, but Jackson.

"Oh shit..." she began to laugh feeling very embarrassed. "Sorry thought you were Donna."

"You've got a decent voice Knowles" Jackson laughs

"Thanks" Tara says

Jackson started walking towards her, closing the gap between. He stood before her and gave her a good once over "Shit girl, you clean up nice."

"Clean up" haha she laughs, "Don't you mean slut up? It was all Donnas doing; she thought my hoody wouldn't do at the party"

"Well remind me to say thanks to Donna" Jackson says while pulling Tara closer to him. He hooks his hand around her waist and dips her down just slightly and breaths her in. He gives her a gentle kiss on her forehead.

This all seems far to intimate for a boy that told her this was NOT a date, she pushes him away "what the hell is that about Teller" Tara scolds.

"I am sorry Tara, but you can't tell me you don't feel it. You can't tell me you didn't want me as much as I want you." Jackson states ever so confidently.

"Are you fucking kidding me? What gave you that idea? The clothes? They are for someone else. I don't feel whatever the hell it is your talking about." She knew her words were lies, but she was not going to be another Jax Teller conquest.

"Aw fuck Tara I am sorry." He seemed shy but only briefly. "Wait, the clothes are for someone else? Who the fuck is that?" He felt possessive of something that was not even close to his.

"And why would I tell you? Let's forget this and get the hell out of here." Tara grabbed her bag off her bed and headed for the front door staring Donna and Opie down on the way.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Tara was soaking it all in, the looks she received from everything female as she walked through the door with Prince. She was loving the rush, and the environment she was in. She didn't skip a beat, headed straight for the keg and got herself a large cup of beer. She didn't want Jax to think she was interested so she mingled and she loved it. As the night progressed, so did Tara's drunken haze.

"Wow Tara, I have never seen you like this before" A tall slender school mate noted.

"James, what are you talking about?" Tara slurred back at him.

"Ya know, drunk, dancing, dressed like that" he responded while moving a little closer to her on the sofa.

She was just about to slid further away from when she felt the heated stare. She peered up through her long brown looks and saw him watching her. It made her instantly hot, but she would never allow him to know that. She grabbed the young boy beside her, knowing he was nothing more than a pawn in her game.

"Come on James, dance with me." Tara demanded

He was a little confused; this girl had never paid attention to him before. But he didn't care, he was gonna have her. Tonight.

They make it to were all of the young drunks were suggestively grinding all over one another. She instantl y turns with her back to him so that she could find Jackson watching her, because she knew he was. She let her body move to the music, her hips swaying in circles constantly in the crotch of the boy. His hands all over her body, nothing seemed to be off limits right now, and she loved the attention. She had never been this noticed before, and she loved the way it felt. She could feel his eyes watching her the whole time, they were burning right through her, she could feel his rage. And it didn't stop her.

"Wanna go somewhere Tara? Somewhere quiet?" James seductively suggested in Tara's ear.

She obliged and followed his lead knowing Jackson eyes had never lost contact with her.

"FUCK! Why do I care, why do I feel like this. She isn't that fucking great" Jackson pondered to himself while he watched as she walked away with the captain of the high school football team. Jackson knew his reputation was no better than his own. It bothered him. "She won't do anything, I know she won't" he tried to convince himself, but he was unsure.

"Jackson, what the hell brother. You gonna spend your whole night sitting in a corner alone? Look at all this untainted pussy!" Opie stated very openly in front of Donna whose hand he was holding, but you could barely see her. Even at 16 Opie was a giant. Mostly friendly, but everyone knew not mess with him. "No pussy is worth being that twisted up over" Opie says suddenly catching up with what Jackson was doing. He knew this wasn't like his friend. It did not bother Opie though, it made him feel easier about pursuing Donna, he wouldn't be bugged about being a one gal kinda guy.

"It's not like that Op. I just don't want anything to happen to the ladies we came with" he nodded at Donna trying to play it off like he was just a concerned citizen.

"Ya fucking right" came booming out of Donna's mouth "You guys are in like, and both to fucking stubborn to do anything about it."

"I don't like her Donna"

"Okay" Donna and Opie say in unison.

"She's not easy Jackson, but she's worth it, oddly I speak from experience with her. She's a good girl, one of a kind and loyal as hell" Donna defended her friend. Knowing that Tara had walls that were hard to break down because she herself had to force her friendship on Tara, and it had been worth it.

"Mmmm" she purred as James nibbled on her neck. It came to a halt and James was being tossed through the air. "What the hell" Tara says confused.

"Get up" The voice demanded.

"Fuck off Jackson, I can do whatever the hell I want" she replied while standing to her feet and heading towards the boy that had just been ripped from her grip.

"Tara your hammered. You really want to do this while you're drunk like this. "Jackson was pleading with her.

"What do you care? And besides, I thought that is what you like in a girl, ya know… "she trailed off  
"slutty" in barely a whisper.

"Fuck is that what you think" his voice was angry.

James was now on his feet and felt awkward standing there waiting for Tara "Tar, ya wanna go, I'll give ya a lift"

"She's not going anywhere with you" Jackson said so possessively even he heard it in his tone.

"James, it's okay. I am just gonna grab Donna and be on our way. Call me okay." She winked at him.

"Fuck it, aint not pussy worth the fight" James muttered under his breath

SLAM! Jackson swung and it connected perfectly with James' jaw "She's not pussy" a statement Jackson said with conviction and truth. He knew at that moment that he didn't just like her, he loved her. Something he had never known outside of his brothers and family, and it was amazing.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5)

"Jesus fucking Christ Jackson Teller, what is the matter with you" she was on a rant and he knew it. He had been following her around for a week, coming to her house every morning, asking her if she wanted a ride. She would take it most days, but today she was not interested. Her father had finally come home from the hospital the night before, and he had been accompanied by social workers and a nurse. They had explained that he was going to need to go to rehab or Tara was going to be placed in a group home in Stockton. Something she feared.

"Tara, what's wrong. I want to help." Jackson had sadness in his voice truly worried about this beautiful creature he knew he loved but was not able to tell her yet.

"Jackson, I just want to be alone. It's how I am supposed to be. FUCKING ALONE!" He knew she was holding back tears.

"Babe, come here." He swiftly moved through the door and as close to her as she would allow. "It's okay Tara, whatever it is, I am here, I will never leave you alone."

"Teller I just…." The tears collecting in the corner of her eyes, he couldn't bear to see her this way. He reached out and grabbed her arm; he pulled her into his chest. She released it all, the flood of tears began and she couldn't restrain herself.

"He's leaving me to. They are making him, or I have to go live in Stockton. I am scared Jackson." She sobbed barely audible, but he heard her loud and clear.

"Baby, where is he going?" Jackson tenderly wiped the tears from Tara's face.

"To rehab, he doesn't have a choice. His liver is failing, and the doctor call Child services. If he doesn't want to lose me, he has to go. But he won't because he doesn't give a shit about me." Her sobs becoming totally uncontrollable.

Jackson sees her father coming from the back hallway but doesn't speak. He knows he has been listening.

"Angel" he fathers voice barely a whisper. She looks up and tried to hide how upset she was, but they both knew.

"Angel, I don't want to lose you. I am going to go. I am going to get sober. I can't lose you to Angel. I am so sorry" her father was pleading with her to believe him. She was hesitant. But she moved from Jackson to her father and he held her while she cried. Jackson slipped out the door knowing they needed this, and he was jealous. He wished he could do the same with his own father.

Jackson didn't see any reason in going to school if Tara wasn't going to be there. Even though they had only been talking a few minutes a day and driving to and from school together, they were nothing more than friends. She wouldn't let it go further; it was not for his lack of trying. He knew she would cave, he was confident she felt the magnetic pull as much as he did. And so for now he would accept her friendship, anything to just be near her.

He pulled into the club house hours later, and as he expected his mother was hiding in the office with Clay. The new President of SAMCRO. His stomach turned at the sight of it, but he knew it had been going on for years, long before his father even passed, they didn't exactly hide it.

"Jax" Opie bellered at his friend from inside the garage. He had been working on Jacksons' fathers' bike, hoping Jax would start to help him. Opie did it because his father Piney had told him to, and Piney knew Jackson could use this as therapy to talk about his dad. It was the only time Jackson spoke of his father, was working on that bike.

Jackson jogged over to Opie, "What's up brother?"

"My dad told me about Tara." He said it in a sympathetic tone.

"How'd your dad know anything" Jackson question his giant friend.

"They're friends sorta I guess. Nam or some shit. Anyway, my dad feels guilty I can tell. Thinking he's the reason her dads gotta go to rehab."

"Nah, Tara's dad is a fucking drunk. But I am worried Op. Like she's 16, how long is rehab? Who's gonna pay bills and feed her while he's gone. I can't explain it Opie, but I need to take care of this girl." It was a confession on Jackson's part, and he knew it.

"Shit Jackson, you got it real bad." Ope said without looking up, still working on the destroyed bike.

"Opie, I can't explain it. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I feel I NEED to be with her, around her all the time. I feel what she feels. When she's on the back of my bike I can feel her smile behind me, but today when she was telling me about her dad, I felt as broken as she did. I don't know what the fuck this is Opie." Jax spilled it to his best friend, knowing this was the only person in his world he could talk to like this without being called a bitch or pussy. He was grateful for his friendship with Opie, it was never about the club, it was about them plain and simple.

Opie was deep in thought, Jackson could tell, his friend always scratched the top of his head when he was really contemplating something. Finally he broke the silence "Bro, you're in love with her. It seems pretty simple, what I don't understand is how? It's been like what? A week? And you haven't tapped that so we know it's not about what is or isn't between those thighs" Opie said with a laugh.

It irritated Jackson that Opie was talking about what was between her thighs, even if he was kidding but didn't want to let on. "Fuck Ope, I think your right. I feel like a pussy whipped teen who just got his first taste or something. I gotta get over this shit bro."

"Ha, that won't happen, just accept it and see where it goes. Seems like she isn't even interested anyway brother."

"She is, and I know it. And you are right; I'll just see what happens." Jackson picked up a wrench and silently began working on the opposite side of the bike, it was his way of ending the conversation because he knew Opie was right and that made him feel overwhelmed.

They worked on the bike for hours, accomplishing more than they had in months, usually they were interrupted with club business and would have to leave it. It was nice, Jackson was giving the bike a once over, it had come along away since it had been dragged behind a semi for seemed like miles to Jackson. "To bad the old man wasn't as strong" Jackson thought to himself angrily. He felt like his father JT had given up and it made him angry, bikers were a lot of things, but weak was not one of them.

Jackson and Opie sat in silence together on the roof of the club house, both in quiet contemplation sipping a beer and sharing a joint. They both seemed to have a lot on their minds; Jackson couldn't think for the life of him what would be on Opies mind. He had a relatively easy life. Ya his mom had left a few years ago, tried to take Opie with her but Piney wouldn't have it. Opie came back and has been living pretty well since then.

"Want to talk about it" something you would never expect to hear out of the mouth of someone who was destined to be a VP of one percent bike club.

"Ha, na, I am good Opie. Just trying to get fucked up." Answered Jackson.

"Well a few beers aint gonna do it." And he was gone down the ladder on the side of the wall to find anything that would cause them a little more damage.

Jax and Opie sat together for hours drinking a bottle of cognac laughing and talking about all the stupid stuff that happened in their lives, they talked about heavy stuff likes Jackson's dad dying and his mother fooling around with Clay. They were both really drunk and high both on booze and drugs and life.

Jackson hopped off the last step of the ladder right after Opie "Were ya headed now"

"Home Jackson, I got a phone call to make to a brunette bombshell of my own." Opie laughed, he and Donna had been getting close as well but Jackson hadn't noticed. He was too wrapped up in HIS brunette.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6) Sorry this will be a short one, I just wanted to convey how quickly they knew they loved each other… will update again soon.

Jax found himself wandering the streets alone, without his bike this time realising he was far to wasted to even think about riding her. He didn't have a mission and in fact didn't even know where he was, when he suddenly realised that he was the cemetery. He sought his brother's grave, he wanted to be close to the pieces missing in his life, but to go to his fathers was just too hard. He sits with his back to the back of the headstone. He began to sob, uncontrollably. "Why?" He said to himself aloud. "Why them?" He couldn't fathom why they were the ones to go, his brother so young, with same heart defect that he and his mother had as well. His father, still so young and with so much more to offer the world, but mostly the club. He understood why his father gave up, he tried to fight, for three days, but in the end his sorrow won. His brother and father both weak in Jacksons eyes. He was now mad, stood up and kicked the headstone, pulled the flask from his pocket he had filled before wandering into the streets and walked off looking for her.

"Jackson, what are you doing here, it's like 3 am." She asked rubbing her sleep filled eyes.

She looked perfect, wearing her pink camisole and boy shorts, the ones she had been wearing on the first morning he had come to her house seeking her. He had knocked on her window over and over until she finally answered, he knew that she would, and she let him crawl through.

"I don't know Tara, I am fucked up, and I just…." He trailed off not sure if he wanted to admit to her that it was because he needed her.

Tara lunged at him, not able to see him standing before her, broken. She knew he'd been crying his eyes were red, and his cheeks still stained. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, knowing this is what he needed, and this is what she had wanted to do since the first morning he was here. She stretched as far as she could high on her tippy toes, she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead just as he had done to her only a week ago. She knew that she loved him from that moment, but was unwilling to admit it, even to herself.

"Tell me Jax, what do you need? What can I do?"

"Hold me." His voice broken and defeated filled with sadness, a void that she didn't know if she could fill.

She lead him to her bed, pulled his shirt over his head, she lay down on her side inviting him into the empty space, he crawl in beside her with his head in the crook of her arm, and she wrapped herself around him like a blanket and held him in her arms. She felt the need to protect him from whatever demons it was he was battling inside himself as well as out.

He fell into a deep slumber, Tara shortly behind him. They slept intertwined with one another. Two broken and bleeding souls completing each other as one.

"Ya know you snore" Tara giggled as she woke. She knew he'd been awake watching her sleep, as she was now lying on his chest, and he was sitting partially up with his back and head against the head board of her bed.

He laughed playfully and pulled her up towards him, "So do you babe." And planted a kiss on hear nose.

They lay for a while without saying anything, just holding one another; Jackson spoke first, "Tara, thank you. I needed you last night, for what I do not know. But I feel like I need you all the time, I know it's only been a week, but I really do feel a pull to you. Like I am just supposed to be with you." She could tell he was being vulnerable with her; she was sure more than anyone had ever seen including his best friend Opie. She didn't want to hurt him; she wanted to make him better.

Tara swallowed her pride and decided it was time to admit that she felt it to. "Me to Jackson. But I am scared. I know your reputation, I have seen the girls pine for you, and I have heard them in the locker rooms talk about you. I know too much. I am scared you will leave me as soon as you've had me. And I cannot bear to be left by anyone else Jackson, it would break me completely."

"Tara, I need you to understand something. I know I have a reputation, and honestly most of it is true. Ever since my dad died I have been trying to fill myself, with something" he wasn't able to find the words.

"Love" She answered his unasked question.

"I guess. But I need you to know, I won't hurt you, I promise. All I want is to…" He was far too shy to admit all he wanted to do was love her, shit it had been a week, you can't love someone in a week.

"Love me." She completed his statement again.

"I do you know Tara, you don't have to believe me, but I know that's what it is" Jackson was opening himself to her in a way he never thought possible, not only because he was only 16 but because he wanted to keep everyone out. "I love you Tara" he said looking deep into her beautiful eyes that were so grey he couldn't explain them.

"I love you to Jackson." Tara responded, knowing her words were and affirmation. She knew it was true.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7) Sorry about the late update guys. I write in the morning and that hasn't been a possibility this weekend Enjoy

"Are you sure you are going to be okay Tara, 28 days is a long time for you to be alone." Tara's father said. She knew that he was hoping she would tell him to stay; the thought of not drinking again was terrifying to him. He would have to face all of the things he had done, or didn't do for the last 7 years.

"Dad, you NEED this. I NEED this. I will be fine, and besides your friend Piney said he would stop in from time to time." Tara was elated her dad was going to rehab; she hoped this would be the change that she desperately needed.

"Ya know he isn't really my friend Tara…" He trailed off not sure if should tell her his reasons for being with Piney the night he wound up in hospital.

"Well, he thinks you are, and he feels guilty about what happened to you, so he will check in and I have Donna, I will be fine. You worry about you." She was determined to get her father out the door and into a better life.

Tara arrived at school later that morning, she felt good, a feeling she was becoming use to feeling. It had been a few days since she had spoken to Jax, but she knew it was because Jax wanted her to spend time with her dad. She also knew she would have him whenever she wanted from now on or at least for the next 28 days, maybe longer if the doctors didn't feel her dad was ready to come home.

"Tara" Donna screeched as she rapidly approached Tara. "Oh my God, a whole month and no parents! Please tell me you will have at least one party."

"Ya right Donna, for one I don't think I have enough friends to have a party, I am pretty sure you need more then 3 to constitute a party, and no offense but you and Opie in a room humping like rabbits while Jax and I stare at each other hardly seems like a party." She burst out laughing.

"Hey, me and Ope aren't that bad, we just, ya know…" Donna's voice became a whisper.

"Are in love" Tara finished her sentence. She always knew what Donna was thinking, they had become so close over the last few years.

"I don't know if that is what you call it Tara, but I want to be with him all the time, and I never thought he would pay attention to me, so now that he is, I don't want to lose him." She was anxious.

"I get it" Tara said while pulling the last of her books from her locker. She could hear the people whispering as they walked past her, she didn't think that her father going to rehab would be so gossip worthy.

"Morning babe, I came to pick you up this morning, where were you?" Jackson asked her as he approached her locker. Then she realised they weren't gossiping about her father.

"Sorry, my dad, I had to take him to the bus this morning, ya know for…" She couldn't bring herself to say the word.

"I figured, how ya doin with all that hun?" He was genuinely concerned.

"I am okay, plus, I got a house to myself for a month" She stated in the most inviting voice. She wanted him to get what she was getting at, that he could be there with her.

He leaned in over her, he towered over her and she always had to reach for him. She loved it. He bent down and kissed her, slowly enticing her tongue to meet his. She was totally lost and when he stopped she felt totally dazed. It was clear he did as well. She wondered if all the girls felt like this when kissing Jackson Teller, she knew they did, but he didn't feel this way kissing all the girls. Only her. Only Tara.

"Mmmmm" he purred "Baby, the things you do to me." His eyes still closed he is savoring her as long as he can. "So I can drive you home tonight." It was a statement, not a question.

"Okay Jax. I will meet you here at the last bell." She was in a total trance. She couldn't even move, he pulled her away from the long row of steel blue lockers and slapped her on the ass and sent her in the direction of her class.

"Jackson." A girl's voice and not Tara's brought Jackson from his daze as he watched Tara walk away from him. The thoughts he had in his head of what he would do to her in those 28 days were enough to make one of the crow eaters blush. He swung around "Ya" he responded to the females voice.

It was Jesse, a small blonde that a thing for Jax for years. "Hey, I am having a party this weekend, and I was hoping you and Opie could make it."

"Ya we'll see darling." Jackson responded with his drop your panties grin that he couldn't help but spread across his mouth every time a female looked at him, it was an instinct.

"Well its invite only and I would love to see YOU there." He knew with the emphasis on you and the whole invite only meant Tara wasn't welcome, and it didn't matter who was in front of him, beating around the bush or totally forthcoming he would let no one disregard his girl. Not Tara.

"Sorry to disappoint hun, I won't be able to make it. I don't go anywhere without my girl." He knew that Jesse had a big mouth and that before the second bell rang for the day the whole school would know that Tara Knowles was his girl.

"What the fuck is your problem Jackson" Tara came up behind him in the cafeteria yelling so everyone could hear.

He tried to pull her in close to him so he could kiss her but she swatted away his hands. "What's the matter baby" he hated feeling rejected by her.

"The whole fucking school is saying you are going to Jesse's party. WITH HER." She looked past him and glared at Jesse. He turned to look and when he saw her he was shocked, it didn't go as he had planned, he thought the school would know about him and Tara. Instead they thought it was Jesse and him, he needed to make a statement quick.

" Look you might operate that way, but I surely to fuck don't. I knew this was a bad idea." She slapped him across the face and she was sure her hand stung more than his face, she turned on her heel and was about to speed off away from him. She felt the tears filling her eyes; he grabbed her by her arm, swung her around and pulled him into her chest. He held her and she cried lightly so that no one could see. She realised she just slapped Jackson Teller in front of more than half the school. "Babe, I never said that. I would never do that to you, I am yours baby." He could see the bubbly blonde standing a few feet away with her mouth on the ground. He mouthed "Fuck you" to her and it scared her.

"I am only yours, that girl asked me to come, implied I couldn't bring you and I told her no. They are just trying to get in your head babe. You're all I want, and all I need." He kissed the top of her head and stood in the middle of the cafeteria with her for all to see, not giving a shit what it made him look like. He loved her, and he would never hurt her. And now they all knew.

Tara carried on with the rest of her day, she thought the whispers were bad in the morning, she was wrong. After her outburst in the cafeteria and Jackson holding her and letting it be known that was his girl, the whispers were less like whispers and more like a radio playing in the background. She could hear it all "Oh my God, she is so lucky", "What the hell does he see in her", "She must be easier than the other chicks for him to stick around". She wanted to be annoyed by it but she couldn't be, she loved that they all knew they were together, even if what they thought was bullshit at least they know.

"Hey babe" He crept up behind her wrapping his arms around the small of her waste burying his nose in the back of her neck were he could smell her coconut shampoo. "mmmm" he growled. "Can I take you home?"

"I thought that was the plan Jax, and you know I would think you couldn't remember my name, babe this and babe that." She teased.

"But you are my baby" He was offended

"Sorry, sorry. I am just teasing" She playfully hit his chest and he grabbed her and kissed her.

"When I said can I take you home I didn't mean take you home." He laughed, his meaning was something totally different than giving her a ride to her address.

"Jackson!" She teasingly gasped.

"Ooo, I love the way you say my name." He was totally turned on and it was obvious, he looked down at his jeans and had no way to hide his bulge, he honestly didn't give a shit either. He loved she could do this to him, but to save himself a month of endless teasing he stood and held her for a few moments so allow blood flow back to the rest of his body.

"Everything is happening so fast Jackson" She said over her kitchen sink, heart still pounding from the quick ride home. "I love you, and I have come to terms that it's been like two weeks, and I know I am in love with you, but there is still so much we don't about each other. Like…"She was shying away and he knew this was her way of hiding, not wanting to admit something. "Like, I am a virgin." She finally blurted out.

"I know Tara." Jackson said, pride in his voice. He would be the first and the only to own her body in the most personal way.

"How the hell do you know?" She was irritated he knew.

"Well Donna talks to Opie, who talks to me. And last weekend, when we went to that party, well, Donna knew about it before you. I had planned on trying that night, but Donna told Opie I better not because it would scare you if I tried to be with you that way. That's the last thing I want, so I respect it, I am ready whenever you are."

"What do you mean Donna knew before I did?" She almost missed everything else Jax had just said to her.

"Well I knew if Donna was good to go, you would be to. So I talked to her about it, told her not to tell you she knew. I knew if it was her idea you wouldn't go for it, but if it was your idea you would, and that you needed her there to be comfortable. It was the only way babe." He laughed

"You ass. I would have gone if it was her idea. You sure did a lot of planning to make sure I would go." Tara realised that he put effort into her coming out with them that night. She couldn't be mad. She walked over to him at the table and sat in his lap. She kissed him passionately, drinking him in with every stroke of his tongue, her body melting into his everywhere he touched her. She didn't know how long she would hold onto her virginity and at this point, she was not too concerned about it either.


	8. Chapter 8

8) This will be short. After Tuesday night's episode of SOA I am finding it very difficult to get anything out. I am heart broken and knowing how Tara and Jax and makes me sick. I will never watch again, and I wish I had not watched season 6 at all.

Jackson was handing a twenty to the pizza delivery driver and he could feel Tara's eyes staring into him, it made him feel comfortable. A sense of comfort he hadn't felt since his dad passed away 6 months ago. He closed the door and walked to Tara carrying the pizza and placed on the coffee table in front of them while he sits down beside her. She opened the box hurriedly and was scarfing down a piece of peperoni "Tara you aren't like other girls in anyway are you" Jackson sneered.

"What do you mean" her mouth full of food.

"Well every time I am around chicks and I eat they don't, and if they do it's not like a man" he laughed, "and it would never be pizza, it would be soup, or salad or some shit that won't fill ya and you have to home later and pig out when nobody can see."

Tara became conscious of how she was eating, "oh my god I must look like a starving child to him or something" she thought to herself. "Well Jackson, if it took me eating like a human being to get you to realise that I am NOT like all the other girls, I will have to do it more often. Just as a reminder." She was still very conscious of the way she was eating, but wouldn't change it because then he would know how aware she was and she didn't want him to think it bugged her.

"Sounds good. I like watching your lips be wrapped around just about anything." He smiled and passed her a napkin. He grabbed a slice, turned on the TV and they sat for a while zoned out, simply enjoying each other's company.

BAM BAM BAM. There was an urgent knock on the door, Jackson flew to the door to open it "What the hell…" He trailed off surprised to see Piney Winston standing at Tara's porch "Fuck can't I get away from you guys for a minute" he was frustrated at his presence.

"I aint here for you" Piney stated as he walked passed Jax and into Tara's living room. " Your old man wants me to check in on ya every couple days, he gave me some money to help ya out while he's gone, I won't be given it to you ya, but I will be spending it on ya. Ya need anything Tara" Asked Piney as he towered over the coffee table and sofa were Tara sat.

She knew everything he just said was a lie, she knew Piney was checking in because Opie told Donna that is what he was going to do. She also knew that her dad gave him no money, because he gave her his bank card and credit card while he was gone, told her to budget it as best she could and if she needed more to go to contact his cousin, she would help as much as she could. "Thanks Piney, but I am okay now. Jackson bought us a pizza and we are just watching some TV."

Piney looked around, trying to ensure there was nothing out of place, not that he would really know, but he wanted to make sure Jackson wasn't trying to pull anything on her. He cared for this little girl, and he knew that Jax like his father had a soft spot for the ladies, and they had a soft spot for him. "Son, come outside with me a minute, we need a word."

They stepped onto the porch and Piney was huge compared to Jax, but Jax was never intimidated by him, he loved him like an Uncle or second father. "Listen here ya little shit, don't you be trying nothing on that girl, she's been through hell and back with her mom dying and her daddy being the scum of the earth. She doesn't need trouble, just friends ya here."

"I know Piney." Jackson wasn't mad or defensive, but quite happy that someone else cared about Tara.

"Alright then." Piney was taken aback by Jackson and his response. He believed him.

Piney drove away and Jackson watched, to make sure he was gone before heading back into the house.

Jackson came back into the house to see Tara lying on the couch; she had on nothing but a t-shirt and small white panties. Jackson blood was rushing and his heart was pounding "she's gonna kill me" the thought. He walked over and lay beside her on the sofa, not removing one article of clothing. He kissed her gently "what the hell are you doing babe" he was totally confused.

"Well I thought about it. I want you." She was simply blunt about it.

"Baby, I don't want to rush you into something you aren't ready for. I will wait for you." Jackson was actually terrified, and didn't know if he could stop himself.

Tara took his hand and placed it on her young supple breast he instantly cupped it. He began kissing her neck, and nibbling on her ear. She moaned wildly. Jackson sat up quickly. "Tara, I…."

"What." She felt like something was wrong with her.

"I can't stop myself Tara. I can't do a little and not go all the way with you." He was frantic, he seemed worried to her.

"I don't want you to stop Jackson. I want you." Tara said sheepishly.

With those words he lifted her up and carried her to her bedroom, laid her on the bed and made love to her for the first time.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9- authors note. I am not feeling totally back to normal, but I also came to grips with what happened on Tuesday, I have accepted her as gone on the show, but here where anything can happen Tara Knowles is still alive and well, as is their love Enjoy.

"How are you feeling this morning babe?" Jax asked a little apprehensive. He had tried to be easy on Tara knowing it was her first time ever having sex, but he caught himself more than once being too aggressive. He couldn't help himself; it had been all he had thought of for weeks.

Tara giggled and her skin gave away to how she felt, she was covered in small bruises "I am fine Teller, I told you that's what I wanted. And it was more than I ever thought it could be." She leaned up and kissed him softly as they lay together in her bed holding one another. "Thank you for being patient with me" she said.

"I was hardly patient, I am sorry the first time only lasted a few minutes, it usually lasts longer but I was pretty built up.'' He laughed. Knowing he was use to daily release and it had been more than two weeks now since he had.

Tara laughed, she knew what he meant. "Me to."

They lay in bed and talked for hours, kissing, holding and making love again. They were so far in love there was no point of return. They were each other's personal drug, always needing a fix. They felt complete when with the other, like the emptiness they felt before was filled. Both knew inside their hearts that they were meant for each other and they would never find this with anyone else.

"I need you to meet my mom Tara." The tone is Jaxs' voice changed; he was serious and almost fearful.

"Okay. It's not like she is a black widow or something Jax. I would love to meet her." Tara had no idea.

"It's not that simple, my mother is an overbearing mother hen to put it nicely." Jax loved his mother deeply, sympathized with her for losing her son and her husband, not to mention all the shit his dad had put her through, but he hated her. Jackson knew that she had been going behind his dad's father for years before he died, always with Clay Morrow. She was over protective of Jackson and he hated it, even though she gave him no rules, no morals, no boundaries to live by. It was hard for him to understand the world outside of the MC because of this. The guys in his dads club looked out for him though and he loved them all for it, they often went to bat for him against Gemma whenever she was in a tizzy over something Jackson had done, or not done.

"I know Jax, I have heard stories about you mom like she is some sort of legend, and trust me it is nothing I cannot handle." She was not the slightest concerned; she loved Jax and knew she would have to embrace his mother if she was going to be with him as seriously as they talked about.

"So you will come for lunch this afternoon?" Jax asked.

"Yup, let's have a shower and get ready to go" Tara was trying to be released from Jackson's grip but he wasn't letting her go yet.

"Mmmmm, in a bit, I love laying here with you." He squeezed her harder. "In those little white things you call underwear" he kissed her neck and rubbed the material of the white underwear. "My t-shirt, which is wildly sexy on you for some reason" he worked his way down her body and was kissing her breasts over his shirt she had on. "The way you smell like coconut all the fucking time" he worked his way further down her body, lifted her shirt only a little and was teasing the skin just above the elastic in her panties, licking her. "Fuck Tara, you drive me wild." He had a devilish grin and Tara loved she was the cause. He slid her underwear down her legs, kissing them as he went, her knees were already locking and her body was tensing up. He discarded the underwear somewhere behind him; he didn't care where they landed. He slid back over her body, hovering right over top of her. "Let me love you Tara"

"Love me Jackson" Tara exhaled and with those words he went diving into her, this was as close as he could get to her, and he loved every second of it.

He heard the shower running and decided to join her. He walked from her room to the bathroom with nothing on, like he was suddenly the man of the house, he was temporarily, but he was permanently Tara's man and he loved it. He opened the shower door and got in with her, draping his body over hers and holding her while water pour over them. She turned away from and reached for the bottle of body wash. She lathered some between her hands and began to wash him. She started with his torso and worked her way to his back, she washed his legs and then she knelt down in the shower and washed his feet. They both knew that this was symbolic and that she had just become his Queen. He pulled her up and held her more, and then he returned the favor to let her know she would always be his equal, she may be his Queen but he was just as much her King.

They walked through the door of the Teller house "Shit, hurry up" they heard a woman's voice say from the kitchen. They followed the voice into the kitchen were they found Gemma, Jackson's mother, and Clay. He did not yet have a family title. "Hey baby, where the hell were you last night?"

"Didn't think you would notice ma, seems you had company." Jackson's eyes darted to Clay.

Tara could sense then tension between them, she was sure anyone could, it was so thick it could have been cut with a knife.

"Jesus Christ Jackson'' was the only reasonable thing she could think of to say "Who's this?" Gemma stated giving Tara a once over.

Jackson pulled her into his side with pride in his eyes and voice "Tara, she's my girl."

"Your girl" Gemma sneered. "Your 16 don't you have 20 girls?"

"No mom not anymore, she's mine, my only and that's it." Jackson defended himself and Tara.

"Eh ah, don't ya think at your age you should be playing the field son. Uh, ya know, sow some wild oats before some cougar gets her claws in ya for good." It was Clay speaking and Tara was certain she had literally seen the hair on Jacksons neck stand up.

"Clay, I am a fucking man, I don't need to take advice from you. Anyway don't ya got your own Cougar to look after" Jackson said with much resentment.

"Don't you talk to him that way" Gemma interjected

"Gemma, it's okay. Jax lets go step outside a minute, let your ma introduce Tara to the kitchen or some shit like that." Clay wrapped his arm around Jacksons shoulder to separate Tara and him and walked him outside.

"So you're this week's squeeze are ya?" Gemma immediately blurted out.

"No, I wouldn't say I was this week's squeeze" Tara felt uncomfortable but would not allow Gemma to sense it, she was sure if she could she would attack.

"And what makes you think that hunny. Look at your neck; you think you're the first girl to get Jackson Tellers love bites?" Gemma was clearly antagonizing

"I am sure I am not Mrs. Teller, but I can promise you I will be the last." Tara knew her place and knew she had to be tough for this woman to respect her.

"HA!" Gemma knew that was a ridiculous statement, not only were they 16 he was the future Prez of the family MC, there would be plenty more hickeys given by Jax to other woman. "Your dreaming sweet heart.''

"Listen I don't know you and you don't know me, but let me tell you, I am NOT one of those other girls, if you don't believe me ask him. I care about him, he matters to me." Tara had conviction in her voice, and Gemma admired that this tiny little girl would not back down.

Gemma's face smoothed over, she looked less angry and uptight "Listen hunny you are how old? 15?16? You've been dating for 15 minutes, don't get your hopes up to quickly, these guys change girls more often than underwear. If you are still around in a month, a week, a day even then we can talk." Gemma stormed off into the back of the house leaving Tara alone.

Tara stood in a strange house after having some sort of show down with her new loves mother; she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. She had tears streaming down her cheeks; Jackson walked in and saw her. "Fuck what did she do, what did she say."

"Nothing really, I am just emotional. She didn't see me like this and don't you dare fucking tell her" Tara demanded. "She can't know I showed any sign of weakness. Or that she made me think." Tara wiped her tears and headed for the door. Jackson was right behind her.


	10. Chapter 10

Jackson had been conflicted for some time regarding his feelings for his mother. He felt sorry for her, she had lost her son, and she had lost her husband long before he had passed away. He knew that she was the type that needed to be needed. But what he didn't understand was why his father's best friend? Why be so open before his father's body was even cold. Jax was positive that his mother had been unfaithful to his father JT for years prior to his death, Jax would catch them in compromising positions from time to time in the office of Teller-Morrow, and he saw the longing stares and heard the whispers shared between them. This is how the hate for her began. Though he hated her, he loved her. And he didn't know what to do.

"Tara, I am so sorry I threw you into that situation. I needed you to see the nutcase my mother was. "Jackson was sure this would scare her off but he needed to know for sure. He waited patiently for Tara's answer, walking behind her a few steps as she stormed in the direction of her house.

"Fuck Jackson. Your mom is right, that is why I am so pissed! She's right." She was holding back and it scared Jackson, he could tell by her voice she was just as conflicted as he was. Only he was sure HE was the cause of Tara's confliction.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean Tara?"

"These." She stopped in her tracks and turned to him pulling at the collar of her shirt revealing all of the marks he had inflicted on her flesh. "These Jax. I am not the first, and I am not dumb enough to believe that I am going to be the last. I promised myself not to let you hurt me, and I am sure that this is where this is headed." She began to storm off again, this time running.

"Tara." He yelled after her. She wouldn't stop.

Tara reached the front door and flung it open and ran in. Stormed to her room and flew to her bed. She sobbed into her pillow devastated that this woman had gotten to her so badly. Eventually the loud sobs turned into quietly spilled tears and she brought herself to sit up. She held her knees close to her chest and paid close attention to her surroundings. It was her room, she had always found comfort here, but couldn't right now. Knowing this is where he made love to her for the first time, where they lay intimately holding each other and talking. Tara had decided there and then that it was over. She would accept that she was another notch in his belt and she was totally fine with that.

"What the fuck did you say to Tara mom?" Jackson was furious with her.

"I have no idea what you are talking about son." Gemma carried on washing dishes.

"You said something; she is fucking pissed at me for something I didn't do. Got can't you put a fucking filter on your mouth or something? Is it impossible for you to be nice for Christ sakes?"

"Hey, I am trying to save you both a world of hurt Jackson." She turned to look at him and placed her hand on her hip. "I see it Jackson, you don't. She isn't one of us! And she won't be able to handle the life, and that means hurting you."

"We are 16 for fuck sakes mom. How would you know what she can and can't handle." He hung his head not wanting to admit defeat but he was scared his mother might be right. The life he was destined for was hard; he knew that better than anyone. It had endless possibility of pain and heart ache. He saw it within his own family, and numerous other members.

"Listen Jackson, you ARE 16. You need play the field. Have fun while you can because before you know it, life will be business. She seems like a good girl Jackson. Too good." And her words stabbed him like a knife. She was too good for him.

The phone rang louder than normal. "Hello" Tara said in a small tired voice.

"Babe will you talk to me?" She could hear the hurt in his voice.

"I don't know what for."

"Because I need you."

"Well you know where to find me."

It felt like she had barely hung up and he was already knocking on the door. "Come in." She hung her head and let him in. She couldn't look at him because she knew how his eyes would pierce through her and she couldn't tell him what she needed to.

"Babe please don't do this. I love you, and I am not just saying that, I mean it. I know my mom made you feel like this was a bad idea; she made me feel like it to. I know you are to good for me, but I will do whatever I have to do…"

She interrupted him. "I am to good for you, ha" she was astounded that is what he though. "It is the other way round Jackson. I can't be whatever the fuck it is you need. I am inexperienced, still a child compared to you .Your mom is right, I am not gonna be the last girl you leave your lovely little marks on. I am never going to be everything you need. I can't be the biker chick Jackson, its not in me."

"Oh my God Tara." He was desperate; he needed her to understand but couldn't find the words. "Tara, I love you. I don't give a fuck about your experience, I love knowing I am the first, and I want to be the only. I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks but you. I need you to get it, that you are the only one who gets me. You've marked me Tara and you cant just send me away. I need you and I mean that."

"Oh Jackson." She had tears streaming down her face. She did exactly what she had promised she wouldn't. She looked him in the eyes, she saw the pain was buried inside himself. She saw his soul. She knew then that they were both broken and lost, and they completed each other. She practically leaped into his arms and their tongues met and they went stride for stride with each other.

This was so overwhelming for both of them, they were afraid of what they had felt for each and this was the moment that the fear went away, and the embraced what they felt. No more hiding from it or denying it. It was clad iron. They would be together forever.


	11. Chapter 11

Their relationship had been a roller-coaster from day one. They had as many ups as they did downs, though the downs didn't last nearly as long. Usually they were resolved by a role in the sack. Jackson spent almost the entire three months Tara's father Eric had been in rehab by her side and staying in her home. When her father got out she found out the relationship between Piney and her father was due to a mutual love for her mother. Piney and Tara's mother had been together as teenagers, and it was Piney and Eric's departure to Nam that caused them to end, and when they returned neither were the same. Piney became a cold heartless man and it cause him to lose her, and allowed for Eric to pick up the slack.

The men hated each other initially but after her death they grew into a friendship that was kept quiet. That was until the most recent anniversary of her death, where they went on a terrible bender together that landed Tara's father in rehab. Turned out that was also why Piney was so protective of Tara, she reminded him of his long lost love.

Eric had tried for months to stay sober; he began to find it harder while dealing with Tara's rebellion. She would be out all night most of the time, when she was home it was to study or recover from her own hang over.

"Tara, we have to talk about your behavior. It has been 5 months since you and Jackson started dating, and I am finding it hard to deal with. You are still only a child, and this relationship is not healthy Tara." Her father said something for the first time as a father.

"Are you kidding me? You think you get to be dad now? Go fuck yourself." She stormed out the door and into Jacksons' arms.

"Baby what's wrong?" He was concerned with the look on her face.

"Nothing. My father just thinks now is the time to become a dad.'' She slid onto the back of his back and the rode off together.

They approached the clubhouse, and made their way through the obnoxious party. Both tired of dealing with it, they made their way to the apartment in the back where Tara let lose. "Jackson, I think we need to end this. I can't handle it anymore, one minute we are hot and the next we are cold. I am always fearing what you are doing when you are not with me, showing up at my house at 3am, covered in blood and it is never your own. I am not sure that I can handle the life that you lead. I know you are better than this. Come with me."

Jackson confused by her statement responded "Come with you? Where are you going Tara?"

"It has always been the plan for me Jax. I have two years left in this shit hole and I am out of here. As soon as we graduate, I am going to where ever I can go. I don't care if it is a community college in the middle of butt fuck nowhere." Which she was concerned would be the case, since her relationship with Jax began her grades had definitely started to suffer.

"Donna is coming with me. Maybe we can all go together." Tara seemed to know she was dreaming at this point. She knew Opie was married to the club and that Donna was going to married to Opie, she knew what she feared most would happen, she would wind up alone.

"Tara, what the fuck are you talking about? That's two years from now, why are you so consumed by this now." He was totally dumbstruck by the words that were pouring out of Tara's mouth.

"Jackson, I'm late."

"For what, I thought we were going to spend the night here?" Jackson was beyond confused at this point. Her thoughts and words were all over the place.

"No you idiot. For my period."

He was dead silent. He could form one coherent word. "Tar. What. I mean how?"

"How the fuck do you think Jackson, we fuck like rabbits, and we haven't used a condom once that I can recall. It was inevitable." She was mad but not at him, at herself for being so careless. She had always known that Charming was not in the ending of her story that she was getting out as soon as she could from this poisonous town. But now she didn't know what the cards had in store for her. She was in love with a boy who was committed to an MC. She wanted more than this place, but not more than him. That scared her, because she knew if she was pregnant she would never be able to get away from Charming, and she would never be able to convince Jackson to leave, they would need the help from family to care for the baby. She didn't want this.

Jackson fell to his knees before her, not being able to speak; he wrapped himself around her and began to sob. He held onto her so tightly he was sucking the breath out of her. "Tara, we will be okay. We can do this. Baby I will be there for you." His words still hardly coherent. "I am sorry Tara. I am so sorry."

She thought it ought to be her that was apologising and in tears. She couldn't handle seeing him this way. It reminded her of the time he crawled through her window when they first started dating, he seemed broken. She hated to see him this way, because she felt everything he felt, they were apart of each other. Intertwined in ways that few people would ever have the pleasure of experiencing with another human being. She pulled him up to her, he held her tightly, and she began to cry with him. "We will be okay Jackson. I know we will." This time she was trying to assure herself as much as him.

Some time passed, they lay in bed and held each other, he left his hand on her stomach for a long time. He realized she was looking rather swollen around the waste, how hadn't he noticed before he wondered. He had her body memorized inside and out. "Tara, how late are you?"

"Well to be honest, I have no idea. I never really kept track before, but I think it's been about three months. I think the last time was about a month before my dad came home, and he's been home a few months."

"Have you taken a test?" He asked curiously.

"No." 

He got up and left. She was so confused; a moment ago he was telling her that they would make it work, and the next he was out the door. No longer then it took her to complete her thought he was back, with a blue box in his hand. Inquisitively she stared at him and the little box, and it dawned on her. It was a pregnancy test.

"You guys just keep this laying around? Takes away from the bad boy image ya know." She gave him a slap on the chest as he approached.

"Shit these guys don't know how to wrap their shit, Gemma buys these and condoms in bulk. These get used more than the condoms." He handed her the test.

She sauntered out of the bathroom, the colour completely drained from her face, he knew what that meant. "I'm. I'm. I'm. I am fucking pregnant."


	12. Chapter 12

Authors note… Please bear with me, I know this is sadder circumstances and we all want a happy ending for Tara and Jax, but I am certain they had a tumultuous relationship. I also believe something sent her over the edge to force her to leave. Like Kurt Sutter I have a story in my mind about how things happened for these two. I plan on making this a trilogy. This book, Tara's book, and Their book. Something I can promise you all that KS never could is a HAPPY ending!

Tara had been in a devastated slump for three days, she wouldn't go to school, she wouldn't talk to her father, or Jackson. She mostly laid in her bed and cried, occasionally getting up to pee which only reminded her further that she had a foreign object taking over her abdomen. She was devastated for many reasons, she knew now she would never get out of charming, she would never have a college education and her life would be the same as all the other "_old ladies" _and that was a tough pill for her to swallow. Clay had been carted off to jail the same day she discovered her pregnancy and she couldn't help but wonder when that would be Jackson. She knew it was inevitable.

"Baby please open the door." Plead Jackson on the other side of her bedroom door.

"Fuck just leave me alone. I need time Jackson." And she heard the front door close so she knew that he had retreated. She was a little bothered that today he spent less time begging her to open the door. Well that is what she thought.

She heard some sort of disturbance coming from the other side of the cheap faux wood door, but figured it was her father in a drunken rage.

Tara nearly flew right out of bed as she heard the smash, and Gemma stood before her and the broken door jam. "Did you seriously kick my damn door in?" She was livid. Tried to storm out of the room.

Gemma grabbed Tara by her upper arm and wouldn't let go of her grip on Tara. "Sit down Tara, we are going to talk."

"Jackson told me what's going on Tara; you know you could have come to me." Gemma was not upset but rather seemed quite understanding, like a concerned mother.

"Gemma, I don't want to do this, not with you. I will talk when I am ready. I need to figure shit out." Tara was protesting but she knew Gemma would not allow her to leave the room.

"Look sweetheart, this might not be what you had in mind for your life. But now this is what you've got. And we are going to deal with this. Like a family."

"Jesus. A family. That's what you are, isn't it? My fucking family." Tara sounded angry by the realization.

"Ya Tara, we are. And we are going to take care of you, and MY grandchild growing in your belly." She leaned over to rub her stomach, noting she did in fact have a bump there.

"Tara, we have got to get you to a doctor. And you have got to talk to Jax. He is as scared as you are." Gemma sat down on the bed next to Tara.

"Tara honey, I know this isn't what you wanted. I know that you are scared shitless. Jesus, I was you. Maybe a few years older, but I have been there before. But when I held Jackson for the first time, it all left me, my desire to leave this town, to be something more than I already was. I realized my job, my place in life, was to be a mother, and an old lady. Now you and Jax chose each other. You need to live with the consequences." 

"Gemma I really don't need the speech." Gemma's words got to her, she was bothered that Gemma's desire to be more left her with the birth of her son. Tara didn't want that, even if she had a baby she had realized she could still become more than what Gemma was. She could go to school, leave charming. But she could never leave Jax. He would have to come with her.

"Seriously Tara, through me a damn bone. I should be breaking your fucking neck, was my plan when I got here. Thought you were trying to trap my son." 

"Gemma, I'm not. It wasn't intentional. In fact it's the farthest thing from wanted. I am not you." She realised this conversation needed to be with Jackson and not Gemma. She got up and began to change her clothes.

Gemma sat awkwardly trying to avert her eyes. "hu, a little friendly aren't we." Commenting on Tara's lack of embarrassment by changing in front of her.

"Well, I am sure you will see a lot more of me when this thing is born."

"It is not a thing Tara, it's a baby. Where are you going.'' Gemma asked as Tara headed for her broken bedroom door.

"To find Jackson." Tara exclaimed.

"No you stay here, I will call him in. Him and Ope are on the porch." Gemma walked out and headed to the boys.

Tara sat anxiously not sure of what to say. She didn't have to, he spoke first. "He babe, can I get you anything? A pickle? Some ice-cream." He teased.

"Fuck you Teller." She always called him Teller when she was annoyed.

"Sorry. Babe why won't you talk to me. We gotta figure this out. Together." His voice was soft and calm.

"I don't know what there is to figure out, I am pretty sure your mom has yours, mine, and juniors future planned for us." She said placing her hand affectionately over her belly.

Jackson noticed and he slid in bedside her, placing one hand over her shoulders and the other on top of her hand over her stomach. "Na babe, she's just the help. The rest is up to us. We will stick around here for you to have our kid, and finish school, and then we will hit the highway, with a side care for the baby." He laughed as he pictured it. "I will go wherever you take me babe." And she believed everything he said.

The course of the next few weeks was interesting. Tara had seen the doctor, and Gemma intruded. She wanted to ask the doctor for some test; Tara wasn't really sure what it was about, something to do with the heart condition that killed Jackson's brother Thomas. The doctor informed them the test could not be given until she was 18 weeks along, and she was 15. She was prescribed vitamins and was given a note from the doctor for her teachers, allowing her to take work home till the morning sickness subsided. Jackson was a dream to her, he was her calling boy, anything she wanted he got, and she loved it. He had actually become more infatuated with her if that was possible.

Jackson made love to Tara at any chance he got, regardless of where they were, and Tara didn't know it was possible, but pregnancy hormones made her want him all the time. She often felt like tearing his clothes off wherever they happened to be and mounting him.

Their relationship became a little more stable, he stopped coming in at 3 am with bloodied clothes, they weren't arguing. Gemma had made Tara move into their house with them, and her father didn't mind because he was now back to his drinking ways. It saddened Tara because she was sure it was her that led him there this time. She visited him during days he was not at work and knew he would be sober. They didn't talk about the baby at all. The time passed quickly and it was time for Tara's next appointment.

"Well Tara, you are 19 weeks now. How have you been feeling?" The doctor asked while going over her chart, never making eye contact.

"I am over the whole sickness part which is a relief. Other than craving the weirdest food, I am feeling good though." She sounded like a woman, and definitely not a nearly 17 year old girl.

"Doc, is it okay for us to be having sex" Jax piped in. "I mean everyone says its okay, but I don't know, scares me sometimes. Like I might poke the baby or something."

The doctor went from a non-judgemental to acting like he had nothing but disgust for them in an instant. "Well boy, ya you can have sex. But don't you think you've got this girl in enough trouble with you dick."

It was all Jackson could do not to lunge at the doctor. Tara placed an affectionate arm over him so he would stay seated in his chair. "Thanks for your concern, but he is just being a concerned father. We are in this mess now, no sense in a lecture. Now can you tell me about my test results?" Tara did her best to defuse the situation and Gemma looked on with a proud look on her face.

"Yes. Your baby does have the heart defect. Sadly the way this works now is we wait till the baby is born. Hopefully we can fix it." He was cold.

"What do you mean hopefully?" Gemma interrupted. Her eyes not leaving Tara who is had tears spilling out of her eyes.

"Well, it's worse than normal. That means there is a possibility surgery will not fix it, and it is possible the baby won't survive in utero." The doctor didn't seem to have any sense of sympathy for the young family.

"What the fuck does that mean." Jackson was furious. His own heart racing, he clutched on to Tara for dear life. Gemma realised how much they both needed her right now.

"So what can we do, what can she do?" Gemma demanded an answer.

"Well hopefully bed rest and an easy delivery will reduce complications. Give their daughter a fighting chance." The doctor seemed to relinquish his anger.

"Daughter" Jackson repeated.

"That's what he said son." Gemma stated beaming.

For Tara this was not news of excitement but rather fear, anger and anything between. She had just barely learned to accept she was having a child when she would be 17, she had actually began to allow herself to love the child growing inside her, she thought it happened when she first started feeling the baby move. Though nobody else could feel it yet she could, and it felt so personal, she loved this baby and now she may lose it. She bolted out of the room. And Jackson and Gemma where right behind her.


	13. Chapter 13

Just when she thought that all of the hard parts of pregnancy were over she was bombarded with this news. Her baby suffered from Gemma's family heart defect. She had lost a son and a brother to the same heart defect. In fact Gemma and Jax were the only two to survive it. She was so afraid for her unborn daughter. She lay on Jackson's bed and sobbed. Jackson stayed by her side, not so much as moving an inch, he let her lose it; he wanted to too but knew that he couldn't. Right now she needed him to be strong and he would be.

"Baby I am so sorry. Fuck babe, tell me how to make you feel better. What can I do?" He was so unsure of how to make her feel better, normally he would wrap himself in her, and they would both get some sort of carnal release and they would both be better, complete each other. Somehow he knew that their divine sex was not going to cut it this time.

"I just don't know how to feel. Its like one thing after another. First to find out we are having this baby, then to find out there is something wrong with it." Her sobs stopped momentarily.

"IT is not an IT Tara, IT is a girl. Our daughter." He needed her to recognize this as a child.

"Fuck I know Jax. But just after I start loving it, HER. I find out we might lose her. I am so overwhelmed." She was simply devastated. She really didn't know how to feel. Some of her tears were fear, and some were relief. She felt like if the baby passed away her problems would be solved, but she wanted it, now more than ever. She would never admit these thoughts, they would hate her for them, be totally disgusted by her. In their own twisted way, family was the most important thing to them.

"Tara, we are going to be okay. The baby is going to be okay. I have the same heart defect you know. My mom calls it the family flaw. But this girl, our daughter, is going to be a fighter. Strong like her mother." He smiled. She returned the smile and they drifted off into a deep sleeping tied to each other.

Two weeks had passed and Tara's doctors' appointments where weekly rather than monthly so they can keep a close eye on the baby. Jackson tried to name her, but Tara wouldn't let him, just in case. He still silently called her Hope. That's what she was to him, hope. At her second appointment after finding out the baby was as cursed as the rest of the Tellers, the doctor ordered more tests. He used the fetal monitor on Tara's belly and wasn't sure that he was getting a heartbeat. He thought he heard it but it was very faint. Gemma waited in the waiting room, and the colour drained from her face when she saw a nurse enter Tara's room with a wheelchair.

She barged her way through the people surrounding Tara. "What the hell is going on."

"Mom, just back out. The baby may not have a heartbeat. They have to get her to the hospital." He was speaking for Tara who seemed almost paralyzed. She held her stomach, it was not large by any means, seemed she swallowed a volley ball is that. Her frame had not changed he stomach had simply grown into a small bump.

They sat in a small exam room that had an ultrasound machine; the tech rolled the wand over her belly stopping in places, punching keys. Tara had asked for them to turn the monitor but the tech told her she would have to wait. What was only an hour seemed like a decade to both Tara and Jackson. The tech left, never allowing them to see. "I will go get the doctor." She placed a soft hand on Tara's leg and walked out the door.

What seemed like an eternity passed and the doctor came in. "Tara, Jackson, I am so sorry." Tara burst into hysterical tears. She was frantic, how could this be, she could feel her just this morning, moving around. Doing summer salts in her abdomen.

Jackson stood up and punched the cement wall; he didn't even seem fazed by it. He had tears streaming doing his face. They were both devastated. The doctor left the room and asked if he could talk to Gemma, they both agreed.

"Gemma, I am so sorry. The babies' heart was just too weak. We are going to have to give Tara a D&C. We will need to expel the fetus." 

"That fetus is my fucking grandchild." She hated that nobody would recognize it as a child, including Tara. "What will you do with her when she is born?"

"Well we find it best at this stage in pregnancy to just let do this procedurally. Allowing her to miscarry naturally may not happen, and can be as devastating as the news itself. If we handle it the healing and recovery time is usually better for mom. And I know this is none of my business Gemma, but please don't treat this like it is a baby, right now it IS a fetus, Jackson and Tara are to young to deal with the semantics. Just allow them to grieve."

"Ya. I know." Gemma placed her hands on her hips, she knew this was a miscarriage, and not the loss of a baby. She needed to be rational, but this was something that was extremely difficult for Gemma, she was always lead by her emotions. "I'll do my best doc. Can I see them?"

"I'll ask."

Months passed by, Tara had moved back into her father's home, she got a job at the local hardware store. She busied herself constantly, with work and studies. Tried hard to keep her mind off of what might have been. Mostly she felt guilty. She felt guilty because she was grateful for everything that happened. She knew how Jackson really felt about her, that they could be stable with each other, that he would leave with her. The loss of the baby hurt her profoundly, but it allowed her to re-centre her life to be able to focus on getting out of charming. She was sure he would follow.

Jackson didn't take the loss nearly as well as Tara, he cried alone at night, wanting the comfort of his girl, but he never wanted her to see how badly this had hurt him. For fear it would scare her how badly he wanted that with her. Wanted her with Tara. He would drink himself stupid many nights, and when he wasn't drunk he was on the road with the MC. He had thrown himself into the life, he had totally abandoned school, didn't care about anything, except for Tara, she was his light, his new Hope.

He pulled up in front of her house, hammered. "Tara" he shouted, his voice demanding. "Tara." She opened the door and recognized his state. 

"What the fuck Teller?" She was annoyed as usual by his drunk antics.

"Baby I need you." He was shouting even though he was nearly right in front her.

"Okay." She simply led him in the house and took him to her bedroom.

"Let me make love to you Tara. I want you to be pregnant again."

"Jax you know that is a bad idea. Plus SI am not on the pill and I won't be going off. Why don't you make love to me because we are young wild and free" she teased him.

"Why don't you want me Tara?" He asked

"What the hell does that mean? Of course I want you, we've been together a year for god sake Jax. Through hell and back. You're all I want."

"Then why won't you give me this. Give me a kid." He was drunk and totally delirious.

"Jackson, I am 17, I am in my last year of high school. I am getting out of here; you knew that, that was once OUR plan. I will give you as many KIDS as you want, as soon as I am done school." She was serious. She wanted him forever, but didn't want to be totally dependent on him; she wanted a career and a life outside of Charming, outside of Jackson.

He didn't respond, he knew he wasn't going with her. He had told her, she didn't believe him. But he was serious. He wanted what he wanted and was being a stubborn mule. He had changed his mind after his Hope had died, and now he was deep in club business, they patched him in shortly after it happened. He had been devoted ever since.

He lay with his head on her belly, missing the bump. He couldn't figure out how this had been so hard for him to overcome. Even Gemma was over it now. But he couldn't. Couldn't help but wonder, couldn't help but hurt. Tara felt so far away from him and he couldn't handle it. She was his life line, and he needed her.

The year kept moving on, the Fall had turned to winter, winter into spring. Tara had been accepted in to serveral universities. She was totally elated, so much so she didn't notice how distantly she and Jackson had grown. Gemma had told her a few times if she wanted him to hold on she needed to pay closer attention. She never thought anything of it, what did Gemma know about her and her man.


End file.
